Just Let Me Be Angry
by Boondock Winchester
Summary: A tag fic to 7.02 Proof - Reid and Prentiss's talk is expanded a bit more to end the way I thought I should have to justify Reid suddenly being happy as he arrives at Rossi's. Because I really do think that they were asking a bit much of him.


I was re-watching the show and I remembered how irritated I was with the way JJ was expecting someone like Reid with severe abandonment issues to just get over something like this. But then the last line of Reid and Prentiss's talk on the plane was the only time I was actually mad at Prentiss. So I expanded on it, getting Reid to stick up for himself and his justified emotions.

Maybe Reid is a little OOC, but up to you.

This was something that just popped into my head and typed up real quick, so please excuse any typos. Unbetaed.

* * *

Everyone was tired. It was easy to see as the team boarded the plane, one by one, everyone's shoulders hanging just a little bit lower.

It had been a trying case. Not just because of the girls who had been so brutally tortured by a man just competent enough to use his mental illness to his sick advantage, but because of the emotions running hot amongst the team. Most especially between JJ and Reid.

Which was the main reason why he had chosen to sit in one of the most secluded seats on the plane with his nose buried in a book. An obvious attempt at communicating his desire to be left alone. Despite what the others probably thought, he wasn't sitting there in protest, or because he was pouting. He honestly just needed everyone to give him a break, some time to think about things on his own instead of pushing their expectations on him.

Reid hated being mad with JJ, but he was. He was angry and hurt, and beyond irritated at how she and everyone else was expecting him to just get over a falsehood like that so easily, like it just never happened. It was good that they had managed to put it all behind them and he was glad that they could, but he wasn't ready yet. And he was sick of everyone trying to force him to be before he was.

Morgan seemed to be the only one who was giving him the space he was practically begging for – aside from Rossi, who was staying as far from the ordeal as possible while still playing the uncle any and every one could turn to if needed – and Reid was grateful for that. Morgan had always seemed to know just when to push the young doctor, but also when to back off and let him figure things out for himself. And right now, he just wanted to be left alone to stew in his anger for a while more.

Unfortunately, that seemed to be a foreign approach to the others. He partially blamed the fact that most of them had had families that, at one point, had invaded their privacy as kids, and as teenagers, and still to this day. They grew up experiencing that as the only correct course of action when someone they love is struggling, but Reid hadn't exactly grown up in the average loving household. He wasn't used to the prying, to the 'I'm going to help you through this whether you want me to or not because I love you' approach, and doubted he ever really would be, despite their best efforts.

He hadn't really wanted to blow up on JJ at the station. It was unprofessional and borderline juvenile, but he had had enough of her begging for a forgiveness that he just wasn't ready to give yet, and he'd snapped. He'd felt bad about it after, but not bad enough to apologize. Even so, it had gotten his point across and she had finally started to leave him alone. Hotch had given one last ditch effort, but had taken Reid's brush off for what it was and backed down, as well. After that, everyone had left him alone, and he was grateful. Now, he could finally start to sort through his emotions on his own and finally find it in himself to push past it. Because he did miss his friends. He missed being able to go out to brunch with them over the weekends, and dinner after a long day of paperwork, or to a bar after a particularly awful case. He wanted his family back, and the ball was now officially in his court.

But apparently, there was still one left who felt the need to give an extra push, and it was the one person that all of this mayhem was centered around. The one person Reid had done everything he could to avoid confronting. But now, apparently, she was coming to him.

Reid looked up out of reflex as she sat in the seat across from him, but quickly returned his gaze to his book. He certainly couldn't stop her from sitting wherever she liked, but that didn't mean he had to engage her.

She stared at her friend, hoping that she was portraying the air of calm and non-confrontation that she was aiming for. She knew that Reid had been avoiding her, and she had allowed it because she knew that he was getting enough from JJ and hadn't wanted to bombard him. But after his blow-up at the precinct, it seemed that JJ had finally given up her mission and had distanced herself as best she could, given the circumstances of the case.

Prentiss had felt directly responsible for the sudden rift between the two people on the team who had always seemed more like siblings than friends. And as the kind of woman who didn't like to leave issues unresolved if she could help it, she felt it was her place to fix this, but with Reid's mind in obvious attack mode, she had to make sure it was as soft and passive as possible.

"So, the surgeon said he believes he can restore feeling to Tammy's hands," Prentiss offered easily enough. Seeing as work seemed to be the only time Reid was willing to give her his attention, she thought it a fair enough place to start.

Reid knew what she was trying to do, and though he hadn't felt bad enough about before to apologize to JJ, he did feel bad enough to not want to start another argument here, so he offered an answer that he hoped would pacify her, then have her let him alone. "Good. We got there in time."

Prentiss's relief that she had gotten through to the good doctor wasn't long lived as she watched his gaze again drop right back to his book dismissively, deliberately not furthering the conversation.

But she came here with a goal and she was not about to let herself be thwarted. "I heard Mr. Bradstone wants to watch the tape."

Again Reid looked up. "People have an innate curiosity to see things in order to confirm them."

Prentiss wasn't entirely sure if there was meant to be a second underlining meaning to his words. Choosing to ignore it either way, she let out an airy chuckle, hoping to convey that she was willing to take any hits he threw her way as a show of her own stubbornness to not let him stew in his emotions, whatever they may be.

It also gave her the chance she'd been looking for to get to the meat of her mission here, so she went for it.

"Ah, that explains why I'm going to Rossi's tomorrow night. I wanna see if he really can cook. You coming?"

She knew she was being obvious. She certainly wasn't going to any great lengths to hide her meaning, her masked begging to move past all this, to accept that it happened and that there is nothing that can change it now, so why bother letting it cause nothing but more hurt feelings?

Reid stared at his book a moment longer. She knew he wasn't blowing her off, because he had been staring at that same page since she'd sat down and if he had been truly dismissing her attempts, he'd have been at least five pages further along by now. She'd give him whatever time he needed to digest her offer, let him come to his senses and just let bygones be bygones, as everyone else had seemed willing to do. Everyone but him.

And though it was true that Reid had seen right through her utterly transparent attempt, he wasn't silently taking a moment to think over her offered olive branch and decide if he was ready to take it. He already knew that if he ended up going, it wouldn't be because she had asked him, but because as much as he was mad at his friends, he still wanted their company, their comfort, and to comfort them for as much as he knew they were still hurting and healing, as well. He was merely trying to think of the best word choice to convey this without once again going off the handle.

Finally, he settled on a diplomatic, "I don't know. I'm not sure I can make it."

And that was all it took. Just two little sentences and her small peace offering was effectively shot down in seconds. She felt the smile slowly slide from her face in disbelief. She knew he was upset, had every right to be, but to so blatantly throw her offer back in her face was far more than she expected.

For a moment, she thought of giving up, understanding when a battle was a losing one. But that was quickly smudged out when the image of his expression crossed her mind of when she'd walked into that room, revealing that she was still alive. The shock, the disbelief, the hurt.

The joy.

He was still her friend. He still cared about her, she refused to believe otherwise. He just needed a little help to get over this phase of his emotional confusion. He was still so young, after all. Still in his late twenties, but having gone through all he had already, he was so desperately young. He obviously just needed a little guidance.

There's still a lot unresolved about you coming back, Emily.

Morgan's words came back to her then, cementing her theories on why Reid was so unwilling to let this go. Well, she was going to help him with it. After all, it was the least she could do.

Changing tactics completely, Prentiss did away with the comrade persona and assumed attack position. She shifted so she was perched at the front of her seat, back straight, hands neatly folded on the table.

"Look, Reid."

The called man looked up, hoping that she was just going to offer her ear if he ever wanted it and then leave it at that. Because honestly, how many more blatant signals did she need to be thrown at her to get her to understand that he just needed space, not more forced expectations?

But that was not at all her intention.

"I know you're mad at us because we didn't tell you what really happened and I understand that. But I promise you, we had no choice."

She hoped that that was enough, that he would see that she hadn't done it on purpose, that she had never meant to hurt him. That this had hurt her just as much, if not more. How could he not see that?

But when he looked back to his book, she knew it wasn't. So she pressed on. She had one last card up her sleeve and it was one that she had hoped she wouldn't have to use, but it was all she had left. And she had to try.

"You mourned the loss of a friend," she acknowledged gravely. "I mourned the loss of six."

Unfortunately, that was the absolute wrong thing to say and she knew it the moment Reid's expression went from civilly dismisive to incredulously betrayed.

Reid was sure he had heard her wrong. There was no possible way that she was honestly trying to wield a guilt trip as a weapon to land her final blow. The anger that he had managed to pack down and mute to the best of his abilities came rushing back to heat his chest and tense the muscles in his shoulders.

"Are you seriously comparing our hurt to yours?"

Prentiss felt a stone drop in her stomach. "What? No, I…"

"We buried you, Emily."

Prentiss couldn't hold back the flinch of that attack. It hurt more than she felt it should, more from the severity of his tone than the words themselves. "Reid…"

"Morgan watched you die in his arms. You let him believe that he failed you, let him live with that guilt, let us watch him tear himself apart with his obsession to find Doyle and kill him himself for what he did to you. For what he took from us."

That had thrown her even more. Her eyes darted over to Morgan who, fortunately, along with the others, was just far enough away to not hear their hushed conversation. Had it really been as bad as all that?

"We said our goodbyes."

She was brought back to the conversation by Reid again who was now unwilling to look away from her. In any other situation, perhaps she could have found some amusement in the fact that now that she had his undivided attention, something she had practically been begging for just minutes before, she'd give anything to have all of that attention directed elsewhere.

"You knew that we were all alive and well. You knew that there was a chance – an implausibly slim one, no doubt, but still a chance – that somehow, one day, there might be a possibility that you'd see us again." He paused a moment to shake his head. "We knew you were dead. We knew without any shadow of a doubt that we would never, ever, see you again. Never talk with you, never laugh with you, never touch you."

"Reid—" she tried to reason with him – how had this gotten so out of hand so quickly? – but he cut her off so quickly and so swiftly that she never had a chance.

"You didn't lose us. We lost you. So don't you dare try and compare how we feel – how I feel – to how you feel."

Prentiss had no words. This was not how she had expected this to go. She had nothing to say because what could one say to such an accusation? All she had wanted was to make this better, to help her friend stop hurting. But in the end, it seemed that she had just made it worse. And wasn't that just the story of her life?

Several moments of silence passed between them and Prentiss debated with herself if she should just get up and find solace elsewhere to lick her wounds. But that had a vague undertone of defeated retreat, and that just wasn't something she had in her. So she remained where she was, thinking of what she should do next.

Luckily, she was saved from the decision. Reid took pity on her, and closed his book in favor of soothing an ache he hadn't meant to dig so deep.

"Look, I understand why you did what you did. I'm smart enough to realize that. But just because I understand doesn't mean that I'm not allowed to be angry. And I am. I am angry and hurt. My whole life has been nothing but a series of people who have done nothing but disappoint me and leave me. But when we lost you, I remember thinking that at least it wasn't your choice. That if it were your choice, you'd always choose us. But apparently I was wrong."

"No," Prentiss was quick to try to dissuade that line of thinking. If she could do nothing else, she prayed she could do this. "No, I did choose you. I chose to protect you."

"I know. And it was a sacrifice, I'm not denying that." Reid leaned over to take the hand she had stretched out over the table, her fingers clamping over his. "You had to give up your life, your job, your family. And I am so sorry that you had to go through that. But you still chose not to trust us."

Prentiss's eyes narrowed in confusion. "How do you figure?"

Reid felt a large portion of the coiled anger in his chest suddenly lift. That was all he had wanted. For everyone to stop trying to just magically make his anger disappear and attempt to understand why he was holding onto it so tightly.

"How many times have we had to lie or wear a mask, effectively be someone else, for appearances sake for cases? We know human behavior and emotional patterns better than anyone in the world, but you couldn't trust us to mourn you properly?"

Her grip on his hand tightened. "No, it wasn't like that."

Reid nodded with an ironic smirk that still held some hurt behind it. "You're right. After all, you trusted both JJ and Hotch plenty enough. But apparently, Morgan, Rossi, Garcia, and I just aren't up to your standards."

Prentiss's eyes turned pitying and remorseful as she looked down to their clasped hands. Still, after a few moments, she managed to find it in her to match his irony with some facetiousness of her own as she looked back up with a hopeful smile. "When you put it that way, you make us sound pretty awful."

Reid offered her one of his classic half smirks that didn't attempt to reach his eyes.

Prentiss accepted it for what it was. She gave a final squeeze before releasing his hand, but she kept hers on the table, allowing his to slip back as he once again settled back into his seat.

She watched as he picked up his book. He didn't open it right away, but instead fingered the corners of the slightly tattered cover. She took her chance to offer one final olive branch, this time in assistance instead of expectance.

"Is there anything I…or anyone can do to make this better?"

Reid took a moment of his own to collect all the right words. Because in the end, he never wanted to hurt her. That had never been his intention. All he'd ever wanted was for someone to take a moment and understand what was going through his head, and she had finally done that. And he was grateful. So he gave the best answer he could.

"Eventually I'll realize how self-indulgent I'm being, and I'll apologize for all the fuss I'm making." His smile this time was genuine. "And of course I'll forgive you. If I'm honest, I forgave you the moment you walked through the door. I love you too much not to have done. And because you're right. I know you didn't have much of a choice." He let that sink in for her, make sure she knew that she already had half of what she and the others were pleading for. He was happy to see a bit of the tension release from her shoulders, glad to have given her some comfort for the time being. He sobered again as he came to the core of his argument. "But I can't let go of the rest of this yet. I can't pretend it's okay. I can't force myself to not be angry any more than I can change what happened. I just need some time to feel angry that I lost seven months with my friend, months that none of us will ever get back." He looked up into her eyes, then, hoping that she understood that it wasn't all directed solely at her. "Please let me be upset. Just a little while longer. That's all I'm asking."

She took several long seconds to search his eyes. By the time she gave a slow, deliberate nod, he knew that she understood everything he wasn't saying. He wasn't so much mad at her, or Hotch, or even JJ. He was mad at the situation and the actions that had needed to transpire to ensure that everyone came out alive. He was mad that his friend had needed to hide away alone, thousands of miles away from the people she loved and who loved her. Mad that it had nearly torn another member of their family apart. Mad that he had felt cravings bad enough that they had driven him to almost walk out the door in desperation. Mad that, had everyone involved not been so driven, so wildly protective, so passionate, this all could have had a much more terrible ending.

But they were, and it hadn't. They'd all made it through. More than a few of them had a few scratches and bruises from the ordeal, but they'd made it. All of them.

With another, firmer nod, Prentiss finally allowed herself to sit back with a heartfelt sigh, the kind one always releases after a particularly difficult ordeal. It hadn't been the answer she had wanted, but she was oddly grateful that he was honest with her. After so many months of so many lies and so much deceit, it was like a breath a fresh air. Her first since she'd returned a week ago.

Their problems weren't over, not by far. But at least now she could rest knowing that they could finally start healing.

All of them. Together.

All they needed was a little time.

* * *

Well, hope you enjoyed. Please comment and let me know if you agree with my version of the conversation. If you don't, that's totally fine and I'm willing to let myself be swayed if offered a solid reasoning, but please no flames or bashing of opinions. I didn't write this to start any arguments. Debates are fine. No arguments please.

Anyone who thinks I don't like JJ or Prentiss after reading this is nuts. I love JJ (especially with how kickass she becomes later) and Prentiss is one of my favorite female characters ever anywhere. Total love for everyone.

Thanks!


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